Marriage...sooner rather than later?

We talked about choosing our mate this week. I thought it was very interesting that Brother Williams brought up the idea that we don't really know someone until we have known them for 3 months. This was somewhat difficult for me to hear because 2 weeks after dating my husband (3 weeks after meeting) we talked about getting married, and a month and a half after meeting we were engaged....we are obviously the exception rather than the rule because it felt like we had known each other for forever at that point.



From the day that we went on our first date I knew that things were going to progress to and be the best thing for us if we could only just keep it together. This was possibly the most fortunate and wonderful day of my life. We made a connection that changed how the rest of our dating would continue. We made our hearts open to each other and to the spirit.






To the day that we were engaged and learned that sometimes things don't work out the way that we want, but all that we need is there with the person that we chose to spend every day for the rest of our lives together with.




Up to the day that we got married and learned how much we truly loved each other because we needed each other from that day on because of the covenants we made to each other in the temple. That is what makes the difference- the reverence we have for our marriage that is essential for our eternal salvation. This is what makes us so happy and so in love. God knew what I needed and helped me find the person who is better than me in so many ways that he lifts me...and somehow I do this in part for him, which is amazing to me! I know that our lives were brought together for a reason, so we could better each other every day.

Gender Roles in the Family

Gender roles make a huge difference in a relationship depending on who does what. If the man wants to stay home and take care of the kids, and the wife is fine with working, this makes for a very different type of role for each of them. We would say this is not typical for families. I think that gender roles are said in blanket statements- people want them to cover everything and everyone, whereas the reality is that there is no way to cover every situation with one statement and say it is true and right. I think that a lot of times we need to take a step back and realize that not everyone lives in a picturesque life and can have these roles in the home. The husband and wife need to pray about it and realize that sometimes things get a little switched up because of time available, energy available, and how their day happens to pan out.

This is my family camping in Yellowstone last year. It is very obvious to me who plays what role with just this picture. My dad is the adventurous one and wants to make sure the right pictures get taken so he always has the camera. My 2 younger brothers are there for throwing pine cones and small rocks at the rest of us because they love to have fun. My mom is in the middle trying to be involved with everyone, and wanting things to go right (shes a planner). My sister Jessica and her new husband Nate are still in their honeymoon phase so they are hard to place with roles. But the main one I see here is my oldest brother Brandon with the baby on his back. He was doing his best to be the silliest one and get the attention needed to fulfill his needs and wants from the family.

I think that even though we think that things should be a certain way, they don't always happen that way and we need to let people be themselves and fulfill the roles that they do best :)

Cultural Differences that affect Families

Last week was very interesting We learned a lot about how families from different cultures are stronger in some aspects and weaker in others. Our books compared everyone else to "white" families- it made me giggle. I know that trying to classify white people from all over the nation with different religious beliefs is very difficult because we all view families differently. As a mormon, I believe that families are central to our reason for being here on earth. Essentially, they are the meaning to life. We talked about other cultural differences like how Hispanics and African Americans are more family oriented and yet they have higher unwed birth rates than any other ethnicity. It really interests me to see what "family oriented" really means to people. Something that is very important and portrays our beliefs quite eloquently is "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". (http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation)

We talked about social classes. In America, we all say that there aren't social classes. Yes, we aren't living in a caste system where we can't associate with people outside of our social class, but we definitely have social classes that define what are how we can do things. What this is typically defined by is our family income, and where we grew up. Isn't that annoying? As we grow up we are categorized by something that is outside of our control. I think that we are too judgmental of those around us when they aren't "up to par" for us. I think we need to let a lot more of the social pressures go and see people for who they are rather than what they were or weren't given.

I taught English in China last year for 5 months and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I adore the children there. They lived at a boarding school during the week and went home on the weekends. Some students were there on scholarship because of how well they tested. They thought of me as their mother. They would hug and kiss me and let me play with them as well. But even as children, they knew that some children were in the upper class, and some were in the lower class. They treated them differently. This broke my heart so  I did my best to make sure that they knew that I didn't care how much their parents made. This made teaching them all the better because they took to my learning better. This changed my view of social classes drastically.

Family Rules

This week in my Family Relations class we talked about our family rules. It made me giggle to hear how similar some families are to my own, and how absolutely different others are as well. I realized that my family has some rules that I hadn't ever thought of until others brought them up. Here is the list that I ended up coming to.
1: NEVER wake Dad unless he asks to be woken at a specific time.
2: Always take the chance to tease someone if they are sleeping in a public setting (like shoving marshmallows in their open mouth)
3: You play a sport from elementary through high school (everyone must play basketball), otherwise you just don't quite fit in.
4: We only really show affection if someone that has moved out is visiting, or to the youngest child (aka Ellisa)

16 years apart and still best friends :)

5: Sports activities take precedence over anything and everything else.
6: The oldest children always get first choice or I guess "higher ranking" at the dinner table or in the car.
7: Dinner time is the chance to tell jokes that you know only your dad and brothers will laugh at. This is what we call family bonding ;)

These are the ones that I thought were very applicable to our family in general. I love that we are all so silly and glad to be together, but also we like to all be in charge which sometimes makes the work go faster, but we also make the work slow down when there are so many chiefs and no Indians to order around haha. We have found a groove that lets us have fun and bond even though all 11 of us are so head strong. My mom's favorite thing to say to the in-laws is "I'm sorry you married into these genes as well..." when my dad turns around with carrots up his nose and asks if anyone smells carrots....we laugh and we cry together, that is what family is all about- right?