Fathers- how important are they?

My mom and dad

We hear more and more about children that grow up in a house with just their mother. This is a growing trend that is hard for me to hear because I love the relationship that I have with my father! There have been rough times, but it has been an amazing road that we have been on to get to where we are now. I will call my dad to just talk, to figure something out on the car, to ask about a math problem, or just to say something silly. He is truly an amazing influence in my life and, I'm sure, in my siblings lives as well. We all have different relationships with him, but we all feel the same way- he is a friend when we need one, an understanding parent/guide when we are in need, and is a fantastic planner when it comes to camping or family get-togethers.
So if you can't tell, I find fathers VERY important. There are studies that show that girls are less promiscuous and typically do better academically if they have a good relationship with their father. Boys are better at rough and tumble play (no brainer, right?) but through this, they are able to read others emotions better because they have learned when people are too riled up when playing, by playing with their father.

Here are the main five points that I have found through my research that I think are most important and that fathers should be aware of :

 Five Important Points in Fatherhood

My dad being silly

My dad being even more silly :)

1- Fathers influence their children primarily through play. As they grow they get more involved in rough and tumble play. As children rough house with their dad they learn how to read others emotions when they run high—this is the link between fathers physical play and how children get along with peers. Children need that balanced play from their fathers to teach them how to regulate themselves emotionally and physically.

2-  Fathers need to get involved in their child’s care from pregnancy on. The habits a father forms during his child’s infancy often stick- if dad is involved in caring for the baby at an early age, he’s more likely to continue his involvement into middle childhood and adolescence. This helps the not only the father-child relationship, but also reinforces the mother-father relationship, which is a base to their parenting.

3-  Stay tuned into your child’s everyday needs as he or she grows. Although it’s hard to say how much involvement children need from their fathers, it takes more than the occasional outings to the baseball game, the amusement park, and the zoo to make a real difference to kids. It takes the day to day activities that help the father be involved. This helps them connect in the everyday stuff, which is the most important to the child.

4- Strike a balance between work life and home life. Making a career change, or at least finding ways to make your current job less stressful, can be a significant move. Children understand that their father needs to work, but they don’t know why he can’t spend time with them when he is supposed to be home. Children need more attention and time, not money, to grow a relationship with their fathers.

5- Fathers need to find a balance between caregiving and sensitivity throughout their child’s life. Although caregiving and sensitivity are both wonderful characteristics, they usually come at different ages for the fathers. If fathers can have both characteristics throughout parenthood, I believe that the children would be more balanced and close to their fathers. These tables show how and when a fathers involvement typically occurs, according to The American Psychological Association.

Characteristics	Caregiving
Child	Sons and older children
Fathers	Younger, worked less, smaller incomes, positive personality traits
Mothers	Work more, younger mothers

Characteristics	Sensitivity
Child	1st child
Fathers	Older, less traditional child rearing beliefs (equalitarian)
Mothers	Less maternal, career oriented

My dad is the best driver!

I would just like to end with a little memory of my father. My dad loves to play games, so one night he tells us we are going to play a new game called "Blind-fold Karaoke" where someone is blindfolded and has in headphones so that they can't hear anything but the music which is turned up very loud. The point of this is to see how on tune people actually think they are singing when in all reality they are very very off tune- and enjoyment for everyone watching. My 17 year old brother gets up and sings one of his his favorite songs, and its a high one. We all get laughing pretty hard, but when I looked over, I see my dad trying his best to record Jason's efforts to sing, as my dad is bent over crying because he is laughing so hard. When my dad cries because he is laughing so hard, you know its way funny! These are some of my favorite memories and I wouldn't trade them for anything!!

Cherish your fathers, let them know how much they mean to you no matter your current relationship. You won't regret it.