Emotional Distortions

When we get mad, angry, sad, disappointed, irritated, inferior, embarrassed, etc.- sometimes we skew our view of the world. What are we making ourselves believe when we are feeling these strong feelings? What are we taking away from ourselves when we can't get past the anger or disappointment? Now you are thinking: "That's just the way I am, I'll get over it!".....but let me tell you, there are typically residual feelings that are brought back up.
When I was in Jr. High (7th and 8th grade) I was in a good place in my life spiritually (odd, I know!). I had made a goal that if I thought anything bad about someone I would instantly think of something nice about them. I trained my brain to do this automatically, and it was great while it lasted! When I finally got to high school, things weren't as happy go lucky. But I bring this up because of the CBT process. I love that is helps us be honest with ourselves about what really happened.
It starts with writing out the situation that intensified your emotions (some of the emotions are listed in the beginning sentence). Then you go through the listed emotions and circle the ones that you felt in the situation. The next part is very important: you must write down your negative thoughts word for word so that you can be honest to yourself. Then you write how much you believed them in the moment (0-100%) and how much you believe it now in the same scale. Next you write the emotional distortions that your thoughts had- all or nothing, blame, labeling, mental filter, etc. And lastly you write down a more positive thought corresponding to a negative one that you believe 100%. This will help you gain a better understanding of your intellect and how you process thoughts.
This process has brought me to an odd understanding: my thought processes in difficult situations are very similar and I have the same distortions in different situations. There are some things that I can see might hurt my marriage eventually, and others that might hurt me if I dwell on them long enough. I want to be able to be how I was when I was in 7th grade: happy and kind inside and out. It will take a lot of work, but we can bring ourselves to a higher level of thinking and living if we can discount our negative thoughts and switch them out for more positive ones. We can change our outlook on a lot situations, and may be better able to raise a family as we are seeing the good rather than dwelling on the bad.